My sweet middle child!

About 2 months ago, right around the 1 year anniversary of my Nana's passing, something occured to me...I was still in the grieving process, but hadn't made it past the "denial" stage. Not really anyway. It occured to me that I tried my hardest not to talk about her, not to go to her house, etc. Not that I came to this realization on my own. I got there with the help of my 5 year old. One day we're just sitting there, when out of the blue Ryker turns to me and asks,
"Mom, is your gramma Nana?"
I said "yes."
He said, "She died, huh?"
I replied, "yes."
He takes my hand with his little hand and said, "do you miss her?"
I said, "yes."
He said, "does it make you sad?"
I said "yes."
He said, "oh!"

Since this conversation, about every 3 or 4 days he will, out of the blue, turn to me and say, "Mom, do you miss your Nana?" To which I simply reply "yes." And that is the whole conversation. I guess he just has to check every few days, to be sure! Sweet little Ryker!

So, I have forced myself past the denial and am in a reflective place these days. There is soooo very much I miss about her. I think about her often and am in constant amazement at what a legacy she left behind.

Some things that she left with me...

her love for all holidays (any excuse to have a party)
her love of cooking & baking
her love for her family
her laugh
her smile
her constant planning (she always had some scheme going on)
her endless files of recipes
her patience for teaching us all to make cookies and cakes
her beauty, inside and out!


Thanks Nan! I love you!